Fall of Humanity

She listened him without looking in his direction: his words, the memory of Megara, of when she still thought she was a man and fell for her, of when she first talked to Tulio, all those memories filled her mind. Even if she was still red and embarassed, a little smile crossed her face. But when he continued to talk she breathed and then replied "I-I'm not w-waiting f-for you..." It was true: she had never even hoped to can have a relationship with him, even when she dressed up as a woman she just wanted to be seen to him as a woman, she never dared to hope for more. "I-I... I g-guess it will... p-pass..." she talked like her 'crush' was a desease, and like it was her fault if the situation was how it was: but she really felt that way, she felt like, if it hadn't been for those stupid feelings, than they could have been friends as always... she still wanted it, she was just afraid that for him things had... changed...

Her stuttering was bothering him more and more with every word she uttered, every hesitation reminding him of how uncomfortable she felt by his side, and in a swift movement he moved his arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her lips gently before she could resist, but made sure he did not hold her too tight for her to move away if she needed to.
He had already explained how he would never love her, and how he would never change, and so they both knew the truth of his feelings in that moment. It was up to her if she would have him despite it, Tulio would never refuse a woman, and he showed it in that instant as he gently brushed his tounge against her upper lip.

She totally didn't expect something similar: it happened all so fast, and all so sudden... she found herself in his arms, and he was kissing her!!! She couldn't stop the chills down her spine, and her heart was beating so fast that he could probably even listen it. She had to move away, to ran away, she knew it, she had to... but she didn't want to: she wanted to stay, she wanted to keep kissing him, she wanted to do whatever he wanted to do, just enjoying the moment, without caring if it was only for one time.
But in the end, she could do none of those things. Instead she make her head move on the side of his face and rest on his shoulder, hiding her face, hugging him lightly with one harm "I-I'm sorry... I..." she didn't even know what to say, so she didn't continue. She just... he was her friend, she didn't want to ruin everything just for something that... that wouldn't have had a future! And deep inside she was even afraid to not be enough for him: he had had so many women, he would have thought she... well, she couldn't be good enough. No... no, she prefered stay his friend, it was 'safer', it was... better...

He pulled her tighter when she laid her head on his shoulder, holding her like an infant in his arms as he kissed the top of her head. Never had he been in a similar situation as he would normally flee before true emotions could grow. Ping was different, and he had broken her heart he knew. Now he was unsure of what to do, and more clumsy and uncertain than he had ever been before he pulled her away from him, holding her at an arm's length to really look upon her face.
"I truely love you," he said softly with a hint of his smile. "And I shall be anything you want. But do not expect me to fall, as I have fallen before, for my heart shall never bear that grief of love again." It was a fair warning, but at the same time he laid the cards in Ping's hand to play as she wished. They both knew who he was and what he did, now it was her decision.

When she hugged her tighter, keeping her in his arms, she just enjoyed the sensation to be so close to him, to be in his arms, feeling... safe, protected, quiet. When he pulled her away she looked at him with her big eyes, that became even bigger for the surprise when he talked again. She swallowed: she knew that with 'love' he didn't.. didn't meant... he didn't meant THAT kind of love... but... his words effected her anyway.
She was actually tempted to kiss him again, to just let her feelings go: she wouldn't ever have anything more, she was totally sure about it, it was probably the best kind of 'relationship' that she could ask for.
But...
But she has been grown up to be a soldier, not a lover, to be a man, not a woman, and... she felt simply uncomfortable knowing that she was still trapped in a space between the two sexes, and scared at the idea to can't be now a woman good enough for him.
Yes, she was mainly scared: scared of the idea to loose him.
"C... can't we be just f-friends? Just like... before..."
Before you find out I am a woman.
Before you find out I love you.
Before I actually fell for you.
Before I had this crazy idea to dress up as a woman.
Just before, when he thought she was just his friend, like a brother, as he said a long time ago, when they could swim together, and fight together without any problem, when he wasn't akward for him hug her, cause, except for the current day, she had felt how him had tried to avoid to touch her...
"Just... just friends?"
she asked again, looking at him with her big eyes that she hadn't even realized where filled with hope and fear that he could refuse her words, or be mad at her.
But she really wanted it. Even if a part of her was dying to kiss him again, she was too scared to take that path, and she needed him as a friend, she just... she couldn't loose him...

He couldn't help but laugh at her awkwardness, but also relieved. He did not want to toy with her heart, but had not seen a way not to. However she had just granted him an opportunity, and he took it gladly. He could not say it was not what he wanted, he had missed his friend for a long time, and it filled his chest with an overwhelming warmth to know at least he had not lost all.
"Whichever path you wish to thread, I shall follow," he laughed before kissing her forehead and letting go of her, but no sooner had he done so before a terrifying grief filled his heart. He had not lost all, but he had lost more than he could handle, and shame filled his mind as he thought back to Jane, whom he had left alone on the bare ground to run after another. Now he knew he would have to make his way back to fetch his clothes, and though she would probably not linger by the falls, he could not be certain she was no longer there. He needed to apologize, and he promised himself he would, but this was not the time.
"I need my clothes," he sighed. He could not walk to the tree, out in the open air, with nothing but his undergarments. He was a free man, yes, but he did have his honour and grace intact, and he would not disgrace himself by doing such a thing unnecessarily.

When he laughed she blushed a bit, embarrassed as always, and blushed even more when he kissed her forehead, but couldn't help but smile: they were still friends, this hadn't changed, she could still have him by her side when she needed him, and could still stay by his side when he needed it…
When he mentioned his clothes, she guessed what he was thinking: it wasn't only about the clothes, it was also about Jane that he had left next to the falls… She didn't know whether to laugh or just blush more for the embarrassing situation. In the end she simply looked down before to raise up and stretch a hand to him to help him to raise up "I can help you to go… there… and…" she looked down again, blushing a bit "i-if you d-d-don't have t-to… s-stay…" she tried to put it in the most casual way, but there was no way she could allude at sex without being abashed "w-well i can take you to the tree…" she finished, still red: also, she just said 'take him' like she wasn't intentioned to stay there. She really couldn't… the only idea of Shan Yu in the same room with her gave her chills, she couldn't stay there…

He smiled at her, but let out a pained cry when she helped him to his feet. The broken leg was far from healed, and the pain was excrusiating as he stood on it. He leaned on her for support, knowing he could not go far. Either he would have to leave for the tree or for the falls, but he knew he would not be able to make the journey to both.
"I can't walk that far," he said as he glanced at her, hoping she knew what he meant by his words. He would have to go to the tree, he could not stay outside with wild beasts once the darkness took over the sky, there was no other option if he wished to live.
He noticed she had not yet asked how he had injured his leg and was grateful. He would not lie if it came to it, she deserved to know the truth, and the truth was not worth hiding. Tulio had never been and would never be a man of lies.

When he cried she bit hardly her lower lip, feeling sorry and guilty for his pain: probably she should have been more careful helping him to stand...
At his reply she looked at his leg: of course, he couldn't have enough energies for 2 trips, and probably not even enough time. She nodded, and, being more careful this time, she helped him to support himself on the tree next to them.
"Wait here, i'll be fast"
She replied before to run fastly toward the falls.

He was grateful she wanted to help, but did not have time to utter his thanks before she was gone again, hidden between the trees. There was nothing he could do but wait for her by the tree, and so he leant against it, staring up at the sky as darker thoughts once again clouded his mind. Memories of Rose flashed before his eyes, and he was close to shedding tears when he once again heard the rustle from the woods behind him, blinking the tears away before Ping returned to him.

She ran fastly, as fast as she could and even more: she didn't care if jane was still there, it would have been embarassing but… she had to take the clothes for Tulio, and so she would have done. Luckily she didn't see the girl when she arrived at the falls, but didn't stay to verify if she was actually gone: she simply took the clothes and again quickly ran in the forest, coming back to Tulio in only a few minutes. Breathing hardly she handed him the clothes.
"H… here…"

He smiled at her, thinking there was no reason for her to rush just for his sake, but he was grateful all the same.
"Angels are no kinder," he told her with a soft smile as he took the clothes from her and carefully put them on. It took a while, and he winced often, but in the end they were on him and he could breathe relieved. The relief only lasted a second however as he realized the more difficult task of walking back to the tree still laid before him, and it was all he could do not to give up then.

She smiled to him, still breathing heavily: it had been tiring run in that way, but it was worth for him... as a friend, of course only as a friend.
SHe waited for him to put on his clothes: she even thought to help him, but realized it wasn't probaby a good idea and that it was something that he had to do on his own. When he finished to put on his clothes she slipped under his arm, in the same side of the hurted leg, always careful to not hurt him, and she looked at him, ready to help him on the way to the tree: "Ready?" she asked, unsure if it might me however too painful for him "...if you want i can c-carry you on my back..." she continued lowering a bit her glance, knowing that it might have been a bit awkward

He laughed at the idea of riding on a woman's back. He still had pride in him, and would not even have taken such a great assistance from fellow men. A woman was not meant for such heavy lifting, and he was a man grown, not a babe.
"I may be an injured man, but a man no less," he smiled at her and started limping forward using her to support himself. Though the pain continuously shot through his leg, he bit his teeth together, refusing to utter a complaint or cry of pain.

When he laughed she lowered her glance, embarassed, and simply nodded at his words: she didn't want to put it in doubt, but he was an injuried man and she was strong enough to carry him if needed. However, she didn't insist, and when he started to walk she walked with him. But when she noticed how much pain he was going trough, and she noticed even if he was trying to hide it, she stopped
"If you want we can even stop here for the night... maybe I can do something for your leg..."

"There's wild beasts in forests of the night," he told her gently, though she surely already knew.
"It would be far too great of a risk to endanger ourselves in such a way, better we head towards the tree, before greated pain falls upon us from fangs of beasts." It was a well known fact, and why no one should venture out alone at nightfall.
Reluctant to stop and rest he took a few daring, painful steps again, showing her his detemination to continue.

At his words she bit her lower lip: she knew that there were dangerous beasts, of course, but it didn't matter, she could stay up the whole night, ready to fight if necessary. But Tulio didn't give her the time to suggest it, he restarted to walk, and so did she, helping him again. If he was so sure, she wouldn't have let him go alone.
"So... h-how did it happen?"

He sighed, it was the question he had dreaded, and a question he did not wish to answer, but Tulio was no man of lies.
"I jumped," he said simply. "From the waterfall." He shrugged as if none of it mattered, as if it was as natural as drinking wine. The casualty behind his words were only betrayed by the hurt in his eyes as he stared ahead, a new pain filling him with ache as he limped further. Lest all the beasts in the forest tore at his flesh he shan't ever feel a greater pain..

At his words she stopped, forcing he as well to stop, keeping him from his arm.
"What?" she asked raising her glance to look at him, incredulous. Had he tried to... to kill himself? He that had stopped her when she had tried, telling her how it didn't worth it! She felt the anger grow into her and, with it, another feeling... a strong sadness, almost physical pain, at the idea that he could have been gone for good...

The anger was not hard to recognize in her eyes, and he couldn't help but smile bitterly at her fierceness. She oft times more than others hid it behind a calm, straight mask, but a fire was burning within her all the same. He would do best not to forget.
"Were you to call me a hypocrit I could scarcely deny your words," he said looking straight at her. "But I shan't tell you I regret my actions. As of honor and pride there are higher truths and greater pains, and it is with those I shall defend my actions."

"You surely are a hypocrit!" she couldn't help but cry out loud "You stopped me when I tried to kill myself, you told me that there was no reason in the world to give up with my life, and my life was destroyed, and now, now you do this!" she left his arm, moving a step behind, looking at his with a really angry glance, and, she couldn't hid it, the anger of a woman.
And he didn't regret it... that made her even madder: did it mean that he was going to do again something like that? The pain in her chest grew even more... he could even only stay a friend... but she wasn't ready to loose him

Her fire made him smile, although bitter. He had not wanted to hurt her, and when she left his side he was forced to take to a tree for support. It was all he could do not to fall over. He looked at her with the soft caress of a lover, hoping she'd understand.
"You must forgive me, I was but a fool, oblivious to the cruel intentions of our world. Now that I have tasted the tears of the salt water, and witnessed the blood of the sunset, you must believe me for I have lived true suffering, beyond what a heart can tell."

"You surely were a foold!" she repeated, still mad "Whatever you've passed, i bet I went trough worse. That evening that i tried to kill myself I was sure my life was ended, destroyed, and still you stopped me!" her glance on him was still angry, and worried. SHe hadn't even realized that she wasn't even stuttering in that moment...

He stumbled towards her, and though gritting his teeth in pain he managed to stand before her, laying a hand on her heart.
"Honor and pride are but words," he told her softly, but sternly. "True pain dawns once the heart have been shattered, the soul have been broken, and no sooner. What sight could your eyes behold worse than my own?" he asked her, his voice making it clear he did not think she had gone through anything but her confusing battle with herself of her sexes.

She followed his movements, and for each step that he took in her direction she felt the anger slip more and more away. At his words she lowered her glance, opening wide her eyes. She didn't want to talk about it, she had wished to be able to just forget it, but he had been honest with her... She got a bit pale, but after a few seconds she replied in a whisper without looking at him "Understanding t-that your who-whole l-l-llife is a l-lie is hard enough... u-understanding it b-because o-of... of... a... rape... is e-even har-harder..."