I belived I would find you..

Meg took a side Ping, and lead him back to the entrance of the Ivory Cave. She had been meaning to talk to him for a while now, and even though the cave wasn't where she pictured talking to him, it was the only place to do it. She knew that Ping and her's relationship had been hanging on a thread. With the whole; Tulio, Shan-Yu, Hades thing taking place, that hadn't talked much lately. She brought him by the corner of the cave and sat down on a rock.
"Ping," she said slowly. "We need to talk."
She hated this, she wished everything was perfect but it wasn't. When she first met Ping, she did think that. She thought she was ontop of the world, where no one, not even Hades, could bring her down. But now she realized, that it's only gotten worse. She got so caught up with herself she was blinded by reality.

When Meg had taken her, she had followed her without a word: she was still feeling a bit weird... uncomfortable around her. She was so sweet, so nice... she was perfect... and she had betrayed her, she felt so dity inside...
She had lied to her, as she had done to herself, pretending to be who she wasn't and now everything was messing up... and now, also, everyone knew that she wasn't a male... she considered only in that moment how Meg could feel about it...
When she stopped to tell they had to talk she frowned a bit: even with all those problems, she hadn't thought to the possibility of a breaking up, and still now she couldn't think of it.
She nodded "T-talking about w-what?" she asked, stuttering, shy as always

It was hard for Meg to do this, it really was. "Ping, I need you to tell me the truth about something.." she said, still talking in a slow pace. Meg didn't know if Ping was going to admit this or not, but she knew deep inside he loved Tulio. And as much as she loved Ping, she didn't want to have a fake relationship.

Ping looked at her without understanding what she actually wanted, he nodded again "y-yes..." waiting for her to explain better. She tilted a bit her head, making the hair move on her shoulders: now that Tulio had removed the hair bend and her hair was down she seemed a lot more like a woman...

Meg took a deep breathe and decided to just say it. "Ping, Shan-Yu told me you still love Tulio," she said, un-able to look him in the eyes. "I want you to tell the truth for once, and tell me if what he said was right." She was done with lies, down with everything being a secret. She wanted to know what was going on now.

Shan yu told her... what? Her expression in that moment appeared confused and annoyed: why the mongol had to do it? Why had he to keep destroy everything in her life? It wasn't fair...
"No!" she finally managed to reply "I don't l-love him, i n-never did!" it was true. She had been... curious... but she didn't love him, not in that way, she loved him as a friend, but it was different... "W-why can't you t-trust me?" she had already asked it, she had already answered to her question. Why had she believed Shan Yu?

"I don't trust you.. because I know about you and Shan-Yu too," she said, starting to get a bit angry. She tried calming herself, she didn't want to explode with anger at him. But it was getting really hard when she heard he kept betraying her.
"Ping, please.." she said trailing off.

What?! What did she know about her and Shan Yu? What did he tell her? She swallowed, and looked elsewhere. She would have never searched for Shan Yu... it had been an accident... she didn't want to... she bit hardly her lower lip, feeling the blood in her mouth... the horrible feeling of guiltiness was unbearable...

Meg saw how uncomfortable Ping became. "Ping, maybe.." she started. "Maybe we're just not meant for each other, I mean-" She had to pause, because she started to cry. She didn't try to stop it though. She let them flow down her cheek. She never thought she would be saying this to him. "I'm just confused.."

'Maybe we're just not meant for each other...'
Those words hitted Ping hardly, her glance ran again on her, her eyes wide opened: she felt like the ground was collapsing under her feet...
she swallowed, pain in her eyes, and when Meg started to cry she approached her and took her head in her hands, drying her tears with the fingers
"No... no... Meg, please... i'm sorry for what i've done... i didn't meant it, please... please don't leave me..." she hadn't been really present, she knew, and things seemed crazy lately, and she wasn't anymore sure even about who she was... but Meg... she needed her... she was her only sure thing in her life for now... she couldn't handle it... she just couldn't... "please..."

She let Ping take her hand, but she barely held it back. "I'm so sorry Ping," she couldn't even finish. She was having trouble thinking, breathing, and even talking. She didn't know what to believe anymore. She just hung her head down, staring at the ground.

Ping looked at her, still the glance filled with pain and with tears that she was still keeping. She couldn't cry, not in front of Meg, she had to be strong, she had to... she bit again her lips before to talk again "Meg, please no... we can fix it... i'll be a better man, i promise... please..." she refered again at herself as a man, without even thinking that she wasn't... and that she couldn't pretend anymore...

Meg still couldn't look at him. "But you're not a man, Ping.." she said softly. "I've tried telling myself, convincing myself that you are something you're not.." She stopped the tears and finally looked up. "I don't want you to pretend when you're with me."

'But you're not a man, Ping...'
Ping opened wide her eyes once more: it was true, she was true, but it was still hard to face... and when she looked at him...
'I don't want you to pretend when you're with me'
she felt dizzy, she stared at her not being able to say anything.
She wanted to say that she didn't pretend with her, but she didn't want to lie with her... she had realized just in that moment that she had kept pretending with Meg, pretending to be a man, pretending that she could be what she wasn't... had it only be a game then?
She bit harder her lower lip to not cry...

"It's okay," Meg said after a moment of silence. "I understand.." She said that even though she really didn't understand. But she wanted to be there for him. Because in reality she really did love him, but she knew he didn't really feel the same.

Ping couldn't keep the tears anymore, she felt weak, but she couldn't help... Everything was changing, everything was becoming weirder day by day, she didn't know anymore who she was... and now... she hadn't Meg anymore... for Meg was probably the best, she couldn't block her, she couldn't stop her to have a better life, with someone that really deserved her... slowly she consumed the distance between them and hugged her tight, resting her forehead on her shoulder... she wanted to say something, but she just didn't have words...

Meg felt a bit surprised by Ping's sudden gesture. But then she realized that she needed it the most. Meg hugged her back, and slowly stroked her hair. Ping was beautiful, she was never meant to be a man. Meg kissed her on the forehead, one last time. "Go live your life," she said softly. "It's okay, I'll still always be here for you."

She remained hugged to her for a while, crying silent tears, and when she kissed her forehead she had calmed down a bit and slowly let her go.
'go live your life'
that words seemed so heavy, so terrible... and still she knew there was no choise...
'I'll still always be here for you...'
sweet Meg, precious Meg... she loved her so much, maybe it wasn't the kind of love that she needed, wanted and deserved, but she still loved her. She didn't want to loose her, but it had to be so, at least now she knew that she could still count on her...
"A-and i'll a-always save you w-when you'll need it..." she replied with a soft and bitter smile on her lips: no matter what, if Meg would have needed her, she would have always been there for her... always...

Meg felt so happy, for the first time in a very long time. She felt so free, not from Ping but from herself. She had always judged herself and blamed herself for everything bad that happened. But this time she didn't. She smiled at Ping for a bit, just thinking about how fun it was going to be with them just being friends. "Thank you," she said quietly.